Perspective

July 22, 2015 ~ abidingtrust ~ 1 Comment

Am I the only one who finds myself looking at the same thing, or being in the same place just standing in a different position and yet what I am looking at, or where I am looks completely different from anything familiar?

I ride to and from work the exact same way every time. There is a 1/2 mile stretch along the trail that when riding one way I know exactly where I am but when riding the other direction I always feel completely turned around and have no concept as to where I am other than the fact that I know I am just a few miles from work. Nothing changes about this part of the trail overnight! No one comes in the replants and bushes or moves the river just to confuse me. It’s simply about perspective.

Think about this with me for a moment. The definition of perspective is pretty simple : a point of view. How is it then that the actual concept in our life isn’t quite so simple. Depending on what we are looking at, how we are looking at it, when and where, our surroundings may look radically different. It’s all dependent on our perspective.

One day the way that you are looking at something or a situation it seems to have this shape of beauty. For example, on my ride home I have the river glistening to my right, the winding trail before me and blue skies above me. There is a mansion on a hill not far away; I know exactly where I am. On my ride to work in the morning all that I seem to see are overgrown bushes that protrude into my riding path, more hills that I remember from the night before and I have to search to find that glistening river.

I can honestly say that my own perspective in life is greatly defined by how I am looking at something. Maybe I am the only one but just the simple act of looking at 1 word, or 1 act with a different perspective can greatly alter my reaction and how my gut can either churn or rest in stillness and peace.

For me, it’s mainly stress that alters my perspective. During that part of the ride, when I am heading home everything looks beautiful because I have only ridden 2 miles. The next morning, I am 10 miles in and just want to be done. At times, in life, it is no different. I need to focus on this:

“So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things that we see now will soon be gone, but the things that we cannot see will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:18

When it comes to this however, I am not always the best and handing them over to God and allowing His perfect will to be done. I am the one who will ride in circles until I realize that I am in the same place that I was before it just all looked a little different. There has to come a point that we start to see things the same.

I need to stop looking at the bushes overgrown into the pathway and the hills ahead of me and rather, fix my gaze and my perspective on what cannot be seen, because that is what lasts forever.

When I just wanted to quit

July 17, 2015July 17, 2015 ~ abidingtrust ~ 1 Comment

It was a beautiful morning ride and I was on a mission. My first triathlon (sprint distance) was only 4 short weeks away and I knew that I had a lot of work left to do to be ready-ish. My life is crazy busy and I, in no way, would say that I am in shape but it was once written about me that I am not easily deterred and that was truth.

I realized quickly that I was going to be riding into the wind once I turned around to head back, and we all know how that goes. (If you don’t know what I am talking about see previous post here) I wasn’t looking forward to it but I knew at least that I would be on my way back, not just starting out. A few short moments later something rather minor happened that made my mind go a little wonky. My heart fluttered, skipped a beat… whatever you want to call it. Now before we get all excited (and by excited I mean concerned) about this please trust that I am monitoring this carefully. However, for the first time ever I was terrified for some reason that I wasn’t going to make it back. I just wanted to quit.

What happened in my mind in that moment left me having no interest in completing this ride. I wanted out, I wanted off the bike and just wanted to crawl back into bed. However, I knew that wasn’t an option in this moment, so I had to keep going. Remembering that I was in the middle of this blogging series I figured I could use this experience to think about that rather than what just happened.

How often in our lives do we come across something, no matter how large or small and something clicks in our minds and we are just done. Timed out, ready to throw in the towel, quit.

Friends, when times get tough or if you are anything like me, I get stuck inside my own head so much that sometimes I can’t see reality… that it just might be easier to quit.

What would happen if we all just quit when things got tough, when our minds get the best of us or when the world tells us that we can’t do something?? Think back in your own life of the things that you almost gave up on, but didn’t. What were they?

For me, well the list is lengthy but I can start with being called to a church plant, becoming GM of a hotel at 24 and I can’t wait to add “completing a triathlon sprint” to that list.

The worst part about quitting is having to start over. There is a reason that we take on the things that we do in life. Sometimes we may never be meant to complete it but I like to try and leave those decisions up to God. He knows. He already has the plans in place, it’s just our responsibility to not be easily deterred and keep going.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10

Hills

July 13, 2015 ~ abidingtrust ~ Leave a comment

I love riding hills. It’s true. There are actually a set of hills that I can train on if I am looking for an extra challenge in my down time. It wasn’t always like that however. I remember thinking that hills were the worst thing in the world and I hated them. And then I learned how to take them.

For the longest time, as I would pedal, I would take all of the energy that I had in my body and try to tackle the hill with my legs, back, shoulders and arms. It was quite painful by the time that I got done. I would get home and my neck and shoulders would be a mess and I felt like I just wasn’t doing something right. I wasn’t.

I recall one day on my way home I was at the base of a decent sized hill that I climb daily and it occurred to me that my posture wasn’t correct. Instead of utilizing my neck, shoulders, back and legs I needed to focus on my core. That’s when it all changed. When my core was engaged it drove my legs, my shoulders stayed relaxed and I didn’t arrive at home with neck pain!

How often do we find ourselves climbing these hills in our spiritual walk? I think sometimes we don’t even realize that we are in the midst of climbing a hill until we are about half way up, realize that it’s getting harder and harder to climb and we have to shift down in order to make it to the top.

In the midst of the climb we realize that we are using every part of ourselves that we can in order to make it but we are forgetting 1 thing; to engage our core. My question to you is this! What is at your core? Who is at your core? Are you taking on this hill with frustration, anger, hurt and confusion at your core? Well, more than likely you will face a greater battle to get to the top.

It’s not because those things are necessarily bad but it’s because in the midst of great battle it’s as though they have this crazy ability to rob us of the joy, passion, determination and victory that comes from climbing the hill! When I am climbing on my bike, I try and at least smile and I can tell you whenI am climbing in life, or walking along side someone who is I will always try and be the optimist.

The battles that we face in life are against the enemy and sometimes multiple things of this world that seem to press back against us during the climb.

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”
Psalm 46:1

I will be the first to admit that when the hills of life come I want to take them on with every part of me that I can and try to decipher them, solve the problem, fix the issue, overcome the “hill” on my own but as soon as I allow whatever the hill might be to rob me of my joy it also robs me of the energy and stamina to make it to the top.

“In my desperation I prayer, and the Lord listened;
he saved me form all my troubles.”
Psalm 34:6

Riding into the wind

July 10, 2015July 10, 2015 ~ abidingtrust ~ 2 Comments

Where did this term headwind come from? In looking this up the actual definition, a headwind is “a wind opposed to the course of a moving object.” Well isn’t that fitting?

When it comes to cycling a headwind is something that I absolutely cannot stand…

Imagine that you are riding at 18 miles an hour, into a headwind of 10mph The amount of energy that you will have to exert to maintain that 18mph is double what you would need on a calm day.

As if riding at a sustained 18mph isn’t hard enough, with that kind of wind, right in your face, you have to work twice as hard to get the same results!

Not long ago I was riding into a 15mph headwind and had this thought as I was trying to think of anything other than the wind….. sometimes, in our spiritual journeys we have this headwind, a “wind opposed to the course of a moving object.” The “moving object” is us, striving to be more like Christ and the “headwind” is the enemy, who wants nothing more than to throw us off course.

As we journey through life there are times that we feel as though it takes twice as much effort to do something the things that we know we are called to. That’s because we have this enemy, a “headwind”, that when coming at us straight on, it is opposing our course of action, this path that we are trying to continue on.

What does this look like for you? Perhaps you are in the midst of riding head-on into the wind, perhaps you just got through a storm and maybe you are in a place where you are starting to feel a slight breeze….

I don’t know what you are being called from, through or to. Regardless, at times you can be going 18 mph toward the place in life that you feel you should most be. Then there is a headwind that comes in, blasts you in the face and you quickly find that you are having to put forth twice as much effort just to keep up the pace you were at…. let alone being able to increase your speed at all.

How easily do we just want to stop!? Like… really? This headwind is just sucking all my energy, I will just stop and pick it up another day. But can I share something with you? Please don’t quit now.

Please don’t put whatever it is that you were working on, whatever race that you running, whatever course you are on… don’t put them on hold just because of a little headwind. There is strength that comes from overcoming that. Our muscles are strengthened, our hearts are made stronger, our faith is increased our desire grows and the next time that we come across that 10 mph wind we find that this wind doesn’t have the same negative effect on us.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things that we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1

In the midst of the greatest wind storm, blowing straight at us, we cannot always see how God is moving in our lives, but we have a hope a promise that He is there and that He is moving.

Just getting started

July 6, 2015July 3, 2015 ~ abidingtrust ~ Leave a comment

Ironic that as I try and find the words to start this post the hardest part is just getting started. I find myself writing, erasing and then re-starting because I want the words that come out to be perfect.

I want everything that I do to start strong. To have a great beginning. To wow, to make a difference. What I often lack is the elegance to just get past the starting line. Truthfully, this blog and the fact that I have posted more than 10 of them on a semi-regular basis is the best “start” that I have had in a while. When it came to getting on this bike and peddling my way through life it was the same way.

The day that I went in to “try on” the bike it was terrifying. I literally looked the gal in the eye and asked her if it was going to be able to support my weight. Go ahead and laugh, I did! She assured me that I would be fine and off I went riding this thing down the street in my jeans and t-shirt because I of course did not plan any better and foresee actually having to ride this bike. Please tell me when “trying a bike on” did not include actually riding it? I obviously wasn’t thinking. Regardless, off I went. I recall thinking to myself that it had been years since I was on a bike and truthfully struggled with wether or not I would remember how to ride it.

I recall the same feelings when I was in the midst of making the decision to follow after Christ as an adult. Growing up we were raised going to church and even in high school I went back but as an adult it felt so much different. I totally understood the concept, I prayed the prayer and felt in my heart what it seemed like I was supposed to feel but I really had a hard time getting started. I wanted to start off with a wow look at how she’s changed but it just seemed like it was a struggle to get there. I didn’t feel like I fit in! I felt like I was riding a bike with jeans on… there was something not quite right about that picture.

That’s when it hit me. It had nothing to do with what I was wearing, with what was on the outside. It had everything to do with the change that was happening on the inside. When I “tried on the bike” I didn’t think far enough ahead to wear other clothes. It didn’t dawn on me that I would actually be riding it, I just knew it was the next step in getting my bike. Making the decision to follow Christ was the same I may not have looked all put together on the outside but handing over my life on the inside was the next step. It was all about just getting started.

“If only you would prepare you heart and lift up your hands to him in prayer! Get rid of your sins, and leave all iniquity behind you. Then your face will brighten with innocence. You will be strong and free of fear. You will forget your misery; it will be like water flown away. Your life will be brighter then the noonday. Even darkness will be as bright as morning. Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. You will lie down unafraid and many will look to you for help.” Job 11:13-19

Following Jesus from my bike seat

July 3, 2015July 1, 2015 ~ abidingtrust ~ 1 Comment

If you were to take one look at me, I can almost guarantee that you wouldn’t consider me to be your typical “cyclist.” Good. Because I am not. I am just a girl who loves the great outdoors, likes a good challenge and is trying to make an effort (no matter how small it might be) to better myself one mile at a time. I used to want to be a runner.

I remember morning after morning laying in bed praying that this would be the morning that I woke up with the body of a runner, no bad ankle, no shin splints and all the energy in the world. Now, I realize that irony in that I was asking for these things while laying in bed but stick with me here people! The fact was that it just wasn’t going to happen without some effort. I tried to run but it’s true, I have a bad ankle and shin splints. I was frustrated, discouraged and figured whatever… why even try? And then I bought a road bike.

It was the largest single investment that I had ever made in my life (aside from a car) and I was both excited and terrified. When I bought it in the fall of 2013 I had a dream that it would be my mode of transportation to and from work. All 13 miles, each direction. I remember the first day that I got on that bike and rode a few miles after work. I felt like I was on top of the world. Needless to say, like other things in my life, the excitement wore off, fall turned into winter and there was no more time to ride that bike.

Over the past 18 months I did finally accomplish that goal of riding to and from work. Even now as I sit here looking at my bike it blows my mind that it has the ability, with my pedal power, to transport me all those miles to and from work but between it’s make-up and my willpower it does and I do.

Something occurred to me over the few weeks and it has brought on this blog series called “Following Jesus from my bike seat”

Over the course of the next several weeks I want to tackle some things that I have realized are parallels between cycling and living our lives to be more like Jesus. I understand that it might sound a little far fetched but my prayer is not that you will completely understand my crazy brain, but rather that we will understand ourselves a little better and see areas that we can be less like us and more like Him.

See yall on the next ride!

It is well…

June 29, 2015June 29, 2015 ~ abidingtrust ~ Leave a comment

As mentioned in my previous blog post I have had to say goodbye to many people over the last few weeks. One of them is my friend Rachel. You can check out her blog at Notes from my corner of creation.

Her words have touched my heart over the years and she is one of the reasons that I re-started my own blog. I asked her to guest blog for me today as her family is about to move cross country where God has called them to a new adventure. I just want to say one thing. No matter how old or young you are never think you have no influence on others. You never know what life you might be able to change.

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It is Well… The Song “It is Well with My Soul” is one of my all time favorite songs. The words are so powerful and extremely catchy.

“When peace like a river attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say it is well with my soul.”

As obsessed as I am with this song, sometimes I hate the lyrics.

“Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say” what? It is well with my soul! Honestly, there are days when I don’t want to say it is well. There are days when singing praise is the very last thing I want to do. There are those days where I’m just like, it is not well.

The sea billows are so strong sometimes. They blow sand and other hard substances and that hurts!

But when peace like a river is attending my way, it’s much easier to sing praise. I don’t mind singing praise when it’s easy.

Singing praise in the hard times? I don’t really like to say “It is well.” I would rather say, “Pass the Nutella, don’t judge how loud my music is and leave me alone.”

It is well?

As we sang this in worship a couple weeks ago at church, I remember thinking in mortification the words I was singing and how well they lined up with my life.

I am the last person on the face of the earth who should be singing about how it’s well with my soul.

As I was pondering this and mouthing along with the words, I realised that there is a reason it can be well with our souls.

God’s going to be sovereign over all the storms.

Those days when you feel like you are being lead through the valley of the shadow of death, we can truly fear no evil, because our God is with us leading and guiding us.

We have to fix our eyes upon him and instead of being overwhelmed by the craziness of this world, become overwhelmed by the King of Glory. We have to be overwhelmed by God and all his goodness and learn to abide and trust that he is sovereign even in the wildest tempest.

He’s going before you clearing the way with his righteousness. He is moving in ways beyond what we can imagine. He is preparing hearts and minds– even in the storms of life.

That is why we can sing praise in the hard times.

That is why it can be well with our souls.

“And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, Even so, it is well with my soul…” -Horatio Spafford

~Rachel Joy

Saying goodbye

June 22, 2015June 22, 2015 ~ abidingtrust ~ Leave a comment

In my life, up to this point, I have not had to say goodbye an excessive amount. Sure, I have had to say goodbye to family, dear, sweet, loved family, and as a child we moved across the state but otherwise I have been pretty fortunate. However, lately, my heart has been broken and then repaired, cracked and glued together and seemingly smashed into a million pieces only to be picked up one by one and handed back to me. By the end of the month I will have shed tears, handed out hugs, prayed over and watched 9 people move onto new chapters in their lives. I feel like I have said goodbye more in the last 6 months than ever before in my life and not one single time is it any easier than before. In fact, if I may be honest, it only gets more difficult. I realize that God puts people in our lives for a purpose, for a time and for a season but sometimes I just would love to know the reasons why this happens, I feel like it would make my heart not break so deeply…. or maybe it would.

Last night, as I was praying with a dear friend and sister I struggled to find the words that my heart so deeply wanted to say. I recall, during this prayer, my soul crying out to God to help me find the words, to help me say the perfect thing, pray the perfect prayer that would dry the tears freely falling from both of our eyes and place permanent smiles so that there would be no more heart ache. I couldn’t. So I just prayed what I could.

I ache over the thought of having to say goodbye again. The raw honest truth is that I totally get this whole “for a season” thing but can I just say this, sometimes I just don’t like it. I want this season to be my whole life! But something stirred inside me this morning and I was left hearing this “Just because they are not physically here, doesn’t mean they aren’t there, in your heart.” Now, I understand that it’s not the same thing but at some point I have to begin to choose the joy in knowing that they will forever have perfect little cubbies in my heart designed just for them rather than sitting in the pain and frustration in saying goodbye.

As each of the disciples left for their journeys I can’t imagine that it was easy to say goodbye to them but it was what God had called them to! Some were sent because if they stayed they would be persecuted so God sent them to spare their lives. Others were sent by God because that’s where He wanted the gospel to be shared. Regardless, they were sent by God because He has a plan a million times greater and well thought out than ours. They trusted and so shall I.

It doesn’t’ remove the pain, in fact it doesn’t even mask it but what it does is help me deal with it. It reminds me that being sent, being called somewhere else, fulfilling God’s plan doesn’t mean that they are gone, it just means that memories and the love that I have for each of these precious humans is tucked away in the cubbies of my heart, forever inscribed with their names and the weight of the blessing that they have had on my life. And for that reason I can proudly say that the weight of saying goodbye is welcomed, for great weight is the product of great love.

Jesus take the big wheel

June 15, 2015 ~ abidingtrust ~ Leave a comment

I had the opportunity to guest write for a friend of mine that I met through Jen Hatmaker’s For The Love (her new book coming out Aug 18th) launch team. This little community has been such a blessing to me and it was an honor to write for my friend Kelly’s blog!

A letter to my 6 year old self

In your 6-year-old world, everything seems to be ok! You’re riding carefree down the driveway, feet off the peddles, hair blowing in the wind and that smile is so innocent!

Do yourself a favor… Your life is about to be turned upside-down, please don’t lose hope.

I know there will be so many times throughout the years that you will want to hold on to those handlebars tighter than before and I can promise you that you will want to take control of the peddles again. (Read more )

He has chosen me

May 27, 2015May 27, 2015 ~ abidingtrust ~ Leave a comment

“Though I am the least deserving of all God’s people, he graciously gave me the privilege of telling the Gentiles about the endless treasures available to them in Christ.” Ephesians 3:8

Of so many men and women of the Bible I will admit that I love the story of Saul (who is Paul) more than some. He was this man who spent years of his life wanting nothing more than to quiet the voice of the followers of Jesus. He went sleepless night after sleepless night searching out, persecuting, imprisioning and killing anyone who claimed to follow Jesus. He was a smart man. He had studied the law, he “knew” right from wrong and he wasn’t afraid to proclaim it.

In the midst of his journey to Damascus to seek out anyone who was a follower of Jesus, Saul is approached by Jesus himself and told of a plan that He has for him.

It says in Acts 9:15 “But the Lord said (to Ananias) ‘Go, for Saul is my chosen instrument to take my message to the Gentiles and to kings, as well as to the people of Israel.'”

8 years ago, I was in the midst of such heartache. The fear of the unknown was far to heavy to bear. I was driving home from another brutal day at work, I remember turning the corner on a winding road, looking up to the sky I said to God “I don’t think that you even know who I am any more but if you could just get me out of this then I will do anything that you want me to.”

It was such a raw, helpless moment. Those were the only words that I could muster in my spirit and force to come from my mouth. In that moment there also was the smallest bit of freedom that I had felt in quite some time. For the next several weeks there were moments of peace that I hadn’t felt in years and I knew that He was keeping up His side of the deal, and so must I. This was just the beginning of my story.

As I was reading in Ephesians this morning and came across 3:8 I was simply overcome with gratitude to God for choosing me, in my opinion, the least deserving, to share the promises and truth of the peace that surpasses all understanding and the love that is far deeper and exponential than we could ever fathom.

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:19

Overcome with emotion in trying to understand those words I am still humbled that He had chosen me. How? I am just me. I am broken, beaten down, sinful and shamed. But the very next verse says this “Now all glory to God, who is able through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20 That word infinitely more…. infinity. There is no end to the work that he can do not only in us but through us. It is simply our responsibility to get up and go!

I realized that though I still may stumble, I am not perfect, God can and will use me as long as I am willing to submit to him the expectations that I have on myself and walk fully and tall in His.

All glory to God! For though I feel week, in Him I am made whole.

Abiding Trust

Author: abidingtrust