I used to think that being silent was a sign of strength. As long as I could take on the challenges that came my way at the end of the long road when all was “taken care of” and “complete” I would be hailed a hero for accomplishing all things while no one knew.
I have no idea when that became a part of my beliefs but for a time I lived and breathed it. I suppose I stayed silent because I never wanted to put a burden on anyone else. It could have been not having the time or simply not seeing the importance of speaking up. I found myself leaning on fear of the known and unknown at the same time.
Taking care of everything for everyone on my own seemed to just be a part of my routine so the idea to speak up for myself didn’t interest me. I didn’t want to burden anyone with it; I would just take care of things on my own. Something scary happens there however. We become alone in our minds and that isn’t always the best place to be. Alone in our minds produces false ideas of not only us but also what we believe about others.
The false ideas that are formulated turn into confidence killers, which keep us in the mind frame to remain silent. Now is our time to move past them.
Are these any of the lies you have heard about yourself in those “alone times?”
- I am being selfish by breaking the silence
- Not everyone will like my choice/agree if I break the silence
- I am weak if I break the silence
Believing these lies and making choices alone that others would love to be a part of can bring several outcomes. For example, it robs them of opportunity to walk through the storm when it’s raining and steals the chance to rejoice when we experience joy. For those of us who feel like breaking the silence will only burden others, how would you feel if those you have listened too most never broke their silence? Looking back I would have been heartbroken not being a part of wedding planning for a friend or standing along side in mourning with another who lost their mom.
What do we do? How do we start to change how we think, act and speak? We take a chance. Not every time we speak will the reactions be favorable or what we expected. That’s life, and we all know it’s not always fair. I have been there, I know. What I also know is that I spent far too long allowing those “stuck in my own mind” moments to dictate and formulate unrealistic expectations no only on myself but others.
So speak up. God gave us a voice for many things. He gave us the ability to reason, formulate words and use them for a purpose and that purpose wasn’t only to speak when it’s comfortable or convenient.
As a writer one might think words come easy but sometimes they don’t so all I can do is try. Will you try with me? Perhaps together we can begin to change the pattern in our minds, our habits and begin to experience less of those “alone times” where confidence killers have an opportunity to take root. When silence is broken strength is renewed and healing begins.