I am the ultimate busy body. It could be the reason I chose the job I did, there’s always something going on, someone to talk to or a problem to solve. At one point someone once told me that I wasn’t happy unless I am dribbling a soccer ball while juggling fire sticks and reading a book. That might be a little excessive but it paints a fairly accurate picture. Packing my life full of doing was my “happy place.”
For years I have lived the “trust God” life. It’s like I was saying “ok God, I trust you and I know that you will take care of it but here, let me be your assistant.” Am I the only one who finds that absolutely hilarious? Like God needs an assistant when it comes to His will in things? Regardless, that’s the role I pick out for myself to fill at times, perhaps more often than not.
For the past year my life was like a jigsaw puzzle that you buy at a yard sale. Beautiful puzzle, about 4000 pieces, the color, picture and box looked like everything was perfect.
I don’t know what your puzzle completing process looks like but for me, after the boarder is done I take a long look at the photo on the box, study the color combinations and then start diving into the hard stuff. I take all the inside pieces and start putting them in piles that match where they go on the puzzle itself. I think it’s a way to help me feel like I am getting little bits of it complete at a time.
So I am completing little puzzle parts of my life when all of a sudden, the remaining pieces are the same color, I can’t seem to get them to fit properly and I am sure that there’s a few pieces missing. I was becoming weary.
Major life events, the ones that people normally take years to complete were all occurring over the course of 4 months. Most everything was under control and fitting perfectly. I felt like I was doing all that I could to complete the puzzle, except when it came to buying our house. The process alone is extremely frustrating but tie in to that the fact that we were doing all the adulating possible at one time it was far more than I realized it might be. Pieces not fitting, colors all looking the same, I was weary.
The frustration was boiling over simply because I didn’t know what else I could do to get it all done. I was weary from all the trying and I didn’t know what else I could do. If you have ever been through the home buying process I am sure you are sitting there shaking your head, even laughing, you know what I am talking about it was excruciating. One night, over dinner, my father in law said something that shifted my whole perspective on it.
“We have to try pretty hard to keep God from blessing us.”
Well, yes, this is true. The more that we are doing to try and help the process along we at times can just be stifling the blessing that is coming. I needed to stop doing, to stop trying to get all the pieces to fit together. Besides, isn’t it inevitable that a 4000 piece puzzle bought at a yard sale would be missing a few pieces any way? It wasn’t going to be completed on my own. I needed to step away and rest in the truth that this life puzzle was in far greater hands than my own.
There is a story in John 6 where Jesus feeds the 5000. That puzzle didn’t make sense, there were over 5000 people and only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. From those wanting to be fed to the disciples, it didn’t make sense, yet in verse 10, with unwavering faith “Tell everyone to sit down, Jesus said. So they all sat down on the grassy slopes. Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks to God, and distributed them to the people.” (NLT) There were even left overs!
There’s nothing recorded as to the reaction of those who were fed on that hillside but it doesn’t seem like there was a bunch of doers trying to get it to make sense. They simply trusted, gave thanks and sat among the green pastures.
When we release the control that we are trying to keep, the pieces seem to fall into place. Even the ones that we are sure were completely missing from the box to begin with. When we allow God to have control, no matter how simple or complex, something amazing happens. We no longer find ourselves weary from all the doing. It is here that we find rest. We are given an opportunity to find peace, to be refreshed and to be fed. Not everything may go the way that we want it to but the beauty in allowing God to be the master puzzle completer is where we are freed from the bondage and pressure to do it all ourselves. The immediate weight that is lifted allows us to finally feel complete.
1 The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
(Psalm 23 NLT)
Oh and yes, we got the house 🙂