The air is crisp as the sun begins to rise over the mountains to my left. Sitting on the balcony of this hotel room in 22 degrees feels incredibly warm because I have ample time to relax, recharge and write, this moment washed over me like a warm blanket. Moving inside, curled up in my chair, cozy sweater enveloping me and my writing playlist going in the background I pondered the words that would come out. Before I sat to write however, I was reminded of the delicious french press coffee in my room and suddenly that thought warmed me even more. I love French Press coffee, yes it takes way too long to make but the way the oils and grounds remain intact instead of being soaked up by a filter creates such a complete coffee taste, it’s worth it. So I wait.

The water begins to boil, the grounds are measured and ready, I pour the water over them slowly making sure each one is covered and wait some more. As I pace around the room it occurs to me that like waiting for this delicious cup of coffee, that’s where the beauty often comes, the waiting. Wait might as well be a 4-letter word in my vocabulary. I would label myself as a chronic multitasker and somehow have been gifted with the ability to do so at a high level. It could be thanks to automation of so many things in life or that I don’t sleep as much as most people, regardless I seem to get stuff done. While there can be good in that I tend to lose the wonder in the waiting. Take my coffee this morning as an example. If I would have used cold water instead of letting it boil or drink the coffee before the water was allowed to steep and release the aroma of the coffee grounds it would have been horrible. So I wait.

This week I found myself in the midst of a lot of waiting. Waiting on weather, waiting on emails, messages, coffee, news from a friend, stop lights, endless highways, unanswered calls and the list goes on. It’s frustrating to be in the waiting but why don’t we ever take a moment when on the other side of that to turn back, look at where we came from and then relish in what is now before us. If it wasn’t for writing this I would never take the time to process what steps french press coffee takes and then fully enjoy why it takes so long. Looking back at my week I chuckle with hints of joy at what I waited through and then got to see, feel, enjoy and experience. Time can seem to stand still in those waiting wanderings and not in the way that we want them to. We so often find ourselves asking the clock to stop ticking in times of joy, elation and fullfillment and to speed by when the waiting is uncomfortable yet the clock neither speeds nor slows, it is simply our mind that makes it so.

Why does our mind want to speed past the agony and growth that comes from waiting? I think it conjures up this flash forward scene of what it wants to see on the other side but forgets the process that it takes to get there. Perhaps our mind begs for time to speed in the waitng becuase we don’t have the emotional capacity to fully process and allow the waiting to grow us, to mold us to who we are meant to be. Maybe the waiting allows for our heart to catch up with our mind or visa versa. But, there is wonder in the waiting. Wonder like when a child watches a Christmas tree light up for the first time. They know it’s coming and they have an idea in their mind of what it will look like yet it’s always more amazing than their minds can predict. Wonder, like their anticipation of Santa’s arrival on Christmas Eve. If they knew when Santa arrived they would never sleep, they would never trust that he was coming, they would sit awake and listen for the sounds. Wonder, like falling in love, where every movement the other person makes creates a photo in your mind and you gaze upon them with elation.

Why don’t we have wonder in the waiting like that? Can we, in the midst of the waiting celebrate the pause that the decision, response or result creates? Can we, in the midst of waiting allow ourselves to look at it in wonder like the child does? Knowing that what comes in the preverbial morning will be good and everything that we didn’t know we needed. Can we fall in love with waiting where we notice everything that it does to change us, to mold us, to make us better. Can we gaze upon the waiting with elation and trust? Can we stop asking time to pass just so we get the result we want? If we can just allow the wonder in the waiting we may wonder why we never allowed such a beautiful part of life to change us like this before.