Author: abidingtrust

Sovereign God

~ abidingtrust ~ 1 Comment

During a worship service I rarely am able to stand still.  Whether my hands are raised, I am clapping or simply swaying back and forth there is always movement.  One might think that I get restless, I just say it’s just me.  On this particular evening we were singing Sovereign over us when upon signing the bridge portion of the song I realized that I was not moving, not raising my hands, nothing… standing stiff as a board and staring at the words on the screen.

Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You’re working for our good
You’re working for our good and for Your glory

Even what the enemy means for evil…. despite what the enemy wants to do with whatever you are going through God will turn it for our good.  Even in the valley, even if we are the one who decided to throw caution to the wind and make a bad mistake; God is faithful.

Do you see what it says next?   You turn it for our good and for Your glory.  Say what?  How can we take those times of being in the valley surrounded by forests of depression, rivers of sadness and skies filled only with questions and hurt and simply trust?  I know Romans 8:28 it says “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”  But it’s hard.  It’s gut wrenching, exhausting, 2 steps forward and 1 step back kind of work but we have to remember that it’s progress.

You see in the song, it doesn’t say when we are out of the valley it says even in the valley.  He is faithful. It doesn’t say that He used to work work it for our good, it says that He IS working it for our good.  Much like a potter, molding and shaping us.  A pot does not fight back on the potters wheel, the pot allows for the potter to shape as he sees fit.  To shape as he has planned.  We are no different.  No matter the valley, what choices you have made, what the enemy has planned for evil our Sovereign God has a greater plan.

Where your life do you feel like the enemy totally had plans for evil for God turned for our good?  Did you give him the glory?  It’s never too late.

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When I am weak

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Have you ever been virtually paralyzed by fear and insecurity?  Have you ever felt as though any one of your weaknesses might bubble up to the surface and stand in the way of all the glorious plans that might be ahead of you?

That was me.

I had tried everything.  Books, conversations, prayer, mentors, friends and even denial.  My soul yearned to walk upright and confident in what God had called me to but my insecurities and lies that the enemy was speaking over me seemed to drown out any sense of peace and comfort that I was so earnestly seeking after.  I felt like I was looking through a foggy window to a path that I knew God had laid out before me.  However, my own insecurities kept me from being able to clear the fog from that window and take the steps that He had planned.

foggy window

The insecurities that kept me from seeing through the fog were starting to take a toll on other aspects of my life.  My friendships, marriage, work, ministry…. everything.  I had begged, pleaded, bargained, planned and tried to work through it all but I just couldn’t get out of the fog.  That is, until I was in the midst of what might have been a non-chelaunt conversation with a dear friend, that I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:8-10:

“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time he said ‘My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.  That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

As I began to reflect on those verses it was as though the weight of all these years of insecurities were being lifted slightly from my burden weary shoulders.  I say lifted slightly because I could absolutely still feel the weight but it was as though Jesus was now helping to carry the load.  My friends, that’s because he was.  He is!  As ironic as it may sound to the rest of the world, the more insecurity that came over me, the more I allowed Him to carry.  With the burden of my insecurities lifted from my shoulders it was as though it created room and momentum for the Holy Spirit to move, to speak through me and to calm my tired soul.

It’s not easy.  Please don’t misunderstand me!  Every opportunity I have to speak; whether it be in front of our church on Sunday nights or one on one with someone over coffee I feel that weakness begin to rise up but now I welcome that feeling! I welcome it because I know that it provides me the perfect opportunity to rely only on the grace of Jesus.  For it is all that I need.  It is all that any of us need.

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The choice is mine

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Standing in my office the other day I realized that I was very much in an uncomfortable emotional state.  Honestly, it could have been the severe lack of sleep mixed with far too much caffeine in one day but regardless I found myself feeling just not quite right. I hope that I am not the only person who knows what the feeling is like but it was this strange mix of boredom, discomfort, slight increase in stress, sadness and anxiety.  Now, before you go and tell me that I might need to seek medical (more than likely mental medical attention), remember my previous statement about sleeplessness and caffeine. As I was trying to process this in my mind I began to run down the list of what it might be that’s causing these feelings.  Before I could complete thought #1 there was a rush of clarity that came over me.  The choice is mine.  No matter what it is that I am battling the choice is 100% up to me as to how I handle it.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. – Phil 4:6 NLT

I am not entirely sure when it happens but in life we seem to take the “big things” to Him and rely on prayer to get us through but in all reality when did it happen that we let it slip our minds to take all things before God and trust Him to take care of those too? Then Jesus said, “come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28 NLT

No matter how worn out I may be feeling it’s my choice to take my weary dry bones before God and hand over those burdens that I so earnestly think that I have to keep carrying on my own.  When our souls attempt to carry the burden on our own for too long we get worn out.  When we become worn out the enemy will use that as an opportunity to shoot those fiery darts to pierce our armor.  The choice is mine to make and His burden to take.  Who am I to withhold that blessing from myself.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. – 1 Peter 5:7 NLT

The choice is mine.

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It’s all about the chucks

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Have you ever just wanted to rebel and do exactly what you want to do no matter what your mom said?  Yea that was me today… only I was about 20 years too late. I will never forget shopping for “back to school” clothes with my mom.  She was awesome about always making sure that we had exactly what we needed.  Now, exactly what we wanted, that was a different situation but we were raised very much with this idea that what we want and what we need are two different things.

Look, my mom is a rockstar.  Not literally…. she’s no Joan Jett although she does love to belt out the current tunes on the radio.  But no, my mom is a rockstar in the sense that she did everything that she could to make sure that we were taken care of and happy and I can honestly say that we were raised with both of those things. However… can I tell you how badly I wanted those coveted pair of Converse All-star shoes?!  I didn’t care if they were high tops (are they even still called that?) or if they were the regular ones.  I wanted a pair of Chucks.  I wanted to be cool, in style and gosh darn it they were comfortable…. I think…. I don’t know that I ever even tried them on but that’s what all the kids told me. So, I am at my local giant shoe retailer and there they are.  I was in awe.  There were at least 15 different colors and styles.  I couldn’t help but stare.  I know it’s rude but it’s just shoes people… they have no feelings.  Between you and I, I didn’t like the price but in all honesty the worst part about that moment was that 20 years after the first time that I asked for a pair I still felt guilty! I seriously almost called my mom and asked if I could buy them.  I didn’t.  She probably would have said no anyway.  But ya know, sometimes I just need to rebel a little and this was my time. I proudly walked my brand new Converse to the check out line and even told the cashier about how my mom wouldn’t let me have a pair when I was a kid.  She didn’t find my story nearly as amusing as I did. In the end I realize that it’s never too late to rebel…sorry mom… I couldn’t wait any more I had to get my converse!

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What is not love?

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The further into 1 Corinthians that we get I sense a little frustration that is coming through the words that he speaks to the people of Corinth.  I am a huge numbers person so I found it a little interesting that Paul talks about 5 things that love IS but mentions 10 things that love is NOT.  He had just spent an entire chapter explaining to them all the amazing gifts that God has given them and then has to spend an entire chapter getting through to them one simple just oh so complex and life changing concept.  Without love we have nothing.

Love is not jealous – In other translations its stated as “does not envy.”  Envy and comparison are the thief of joy!  If all we did was sit and be jealous about the gifts and abilities that others were given and not just be happy and grow in what God has given us we run the serious risk of completely losing track of what we have been given.  We weren’t designed to be jealous, we were designed to build each other up.

Love is not boastful – To be boastful is to express too much pride in ourselves or in something that we have, have done or contributed to.  During this challenge God spoke pretty clearly to me to follow through on an opportunity to bless someone.  Now, I am NOT boasting about this, I am just saying… it happened.  🙂  Following this opportunity I caught my self wanting to remind them of what I did, and it wasn’t like that’s what I was trying to do!  It was just something that so simply almost rolled off my tongue but it wasn’t necessary.  I used my brain to mouth filter… Win!

Love is not proud – I personally prefer how another translation says it as arrogant of which the definition is showing the insulting attitude of people who believe they are better, smarter or more important than others.  It’s not just the attitude of being better but the insulting attitude of being better.

Love is not rude – This idea that we have been called to be different but yet at the end of the day we are still so worried about all that we want and when we want it and we often end up leaving behind those that we have been called to love the most.  If we are really in the business of loving people then we need to be aware that there will be times that we have to set aside our desires for the time being in order to walk along side someone in life and really love them.

Those items listen above created so many opportunities for me to alter how I think and what I say.  I honestly can’t say exactly when things changed but I can tell you that there was a moment that I found myself dissecting every action and reaction before using my words.  I know this sounds cliche but words can build up and words can kill.  During the next couple days.. I challenge you to try and evaluate which you are using on a regular basis.

Admitting that we sometimes use words that kill, unknowingly, doesn’t make us horrible people!!!  It’s not like I am here to tell you about all the bad things that we are doing, remember, I am the first one to say that I needed to make a change.  I am just saying that it creates opportunities for us to work to be more like our Creator (Colossians 3:10) and isn’t that what we are designed to be?