One summer, when I was 9 years old, my mom tasked me with painting the intricate parts of a metal table. So intricate that it wasn’t done with a normal size paintbrush or even a 1/2 size one. The painting was done with a tiny paintbrush about the size of the ones that come in the Crayola watercolor sets. Other kids at 9 years old would have viewed this as a punishment but I didn’t have to think twice. I was thrilled!!! About half way through the project my mother came out to the garage where I was working, smiled and just said “you are the perfect person for this, you have the patience of Job.” Of who? I thought to myself. We grew up going to church and I guess I loosely understood the story of Job but the phrase was far more popular in my mind than the Bible story. I kinda chuckled and kept on my merry painting way.

James mentions Job’s patience in verse 11

“We give great honor to those who endure under suffering. For instance, you know about Job, a man of great endurance. You can see how the Lord was kind to him at the end, for the Lord is full of tenderness and marcy.” James 5:11

Patience is one of those things that I never asked for, I didn’t think that I needed more than I had and I did learn early on in my walk with the Lord to not ask for it. Granted, that might just be a funny joke in the Christian world but typically when we, as believers, ask God for patience it sure seems like he provides an abundance of opportunity to test out this new found blessing.

So why do we find ourselves in these moments of wanting and waiting? Well, that seems to be answered by many things but mainly this season of waiting can be described as being in the middle of here and wanting to get there. It’s like, I know God has impressed things on my my heart that I truly believe are from Him and His plans but then we sit here wondering what is taking so long. The truth is, God is far more interested in who you are becoming than what you are doing. 

“Wait patiently for the Lord, Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.” Psalms 27:14

I don’t know about you but some chaotic seasons of waiting seem to drag on forever. Some of those times are when I swear that there was light at the end of the tunnel just for that tunnel to collapse and I found my self digging out again. With each collapse, there, in turn, became a little more chaos in my mind than the time before. One would think that having to do the same clean up over and over would make my mind a little clearer but the issue wasn’t the clean up, it was me trying to take a little more control every time because I was getting antsy. I was growing weary in the waiting, I was wanting God to move a little faster for fear that the opportunity was going to pass me by. Well, here’s some facts that came out of this fight with the Lord:

The tighter I hold onto what I want the less space there is for God to move
The more I try to self-manifest the more I am going to get it wrong
The more I self-project, the less accurate reality really is
The more I stress over things the smaller my faith becomes
The more fear I give in to the more cloudy my thoughts are
The cloudier my minds gets the less I can hear God
The less I hear God, the more I hear the enemy
And we all know where this is headed now.

There IS good that comes from times like these. For example, have you ever thought about how aware you are of God and how much you go to Him when in times of chaotic waiting? I know for me, I find my self in almost constant conversation with Him, mostly begging Him to show me what He is doing. And how amazing it is that the God of the universe loves us so much that in the midst of the chaotic waiting He wants us to communicate with him. Tim Keller said it this way “God will only give you what you would have asked for if you knew everything He knows.”

We want, so desperately to control the narrative in these times of waiting. But here is where the endurance kicks in. I once considered myself a runner and I can recall so many races where I was totally wiped out with several miles left in the race and the only way to finish is to dig deep down and find the energy and endurance that I have left to cross that finish line. It’s no different here except that God is the one in control. We can attempt to meander through the chaotic waiting with our self-projecting, self-manifesting ways but we will be reminded that He is more trustworthy and has our best interest in mind. Here’s the thing, our trust problem is a belief problem. We can either trust fully in ourselves or trust wholly in the power of God.

I already know what you are thinking. “I have trusted him before and look where it go me.” or “I want to trust Him but it just seems so far away” or “I know what He has told me but it just seems impossible” and while I haven’t felt all those things I can empathize with where you are at. Here’s what I do know. God has already fulfilled so many things that He promised He would do, so it should give us confidence to trust in the God of our not yet.

So let’s take a journey and visit some of the people in the Bible that have had to endure times of waiting, how they persevered and what God did in and through them in their time of waiting.

And while we are taking this journey, let us not lose sight of our own chaotic waiting. You might be tempted to run from the process. Don’t. The enemy doesn’t play fair and he wants nothing more than for you to give up. You will have to fight to guard your words, thoughts and heart as this process will lead to your breakthrough. Oftentimes, hardship and difficulty do not mean you are off course. It just means God is preparing you for greatness.