growth

When I just wanted to quit

~ abidingtrust ~ 1 Comment

When I wanted to quit

It was a beautiful morning ride and I was on a mission.  My first triathlon (sprint distance) was only 4 short weeks away and I knew that I had a lot of work left to do to be ready-ish.  My life is crazy busy and I, in no way, would say that I am in shape but it was once written about me that I am not easily deterred and that was truth.

I realized quickly that I was going to be riding into the wind once I turned around to head back, and we all know how that goes.  (If you don’t know what I am talking about see previous post here)  I wasn’t looking forward to it but I knew at least that I would be on my way back, not just starting out.  A few short moments later something rather minor happened that made my mind go a little wonky.  My heart fluttered, skipped a beat… whatever you want to call it.  Now before we get all excited (and by excited I mean concerned) about this please trust that I am monitoring this carefully.  However, for the first time ever I was terrified for some reason that I wasn’t going to make it back.  I just wanted to quit.

What happened in my mind in that moment left me having no interest in completing this ride.  I wanted out, I wanted off the bike and just wanted to crawl back into bed.  However, I knew that wasn’t an option in this moment,  so I had to keep going.  Remembering that I was in the middle of this blogging series I figured I could use this experience to think about that rather than what just happened.

How often in our lives do we come across something, no matter how large or small and something clicks in our minds and we are just done.  Timed out, ready to throw in the towel, quit.

Friends, when times get tough or if you are anything like me, I get stuck inside my own head so much that sometimes I can’t see reality… that it just might be easier to quit.

What would happen if we all just quit when things got tough, when our minds get the best of us or when the world tells us that we can’t do something??  Think back in your own life of the things that you almost gave up on, but didn’t.  What were they?

For me, well the list is lengthy but I can start with being called to a church plant, becoming GM of a hotel at 24 and I can’t wait to add “completing a triathlon sprint” to that list.

The worst part about quitting is having to start over.  There is a reason that we take on the things that we do in life.  Sometimes we may never be meant to complete it but I like to try and leave those decisions up to God.  He knows.  He already has the plans in place, it’s just our responsibility to not be easily deterred and keep going.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.  Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10

What is not love?

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The further into 1 Corinthians that we get I sense a little frustration that is coming through the words that he speaks to the people of Corinth.  I am a huge numbers person so I found it a little interesting that Paul talks about 5 things that love IS but mentions 10 things that love is NOT.  He had just spent an entire chapter explaining to them all the amazing gifts that God has given them and then has to spend an entire chapter getting through to them one simple just oh so complex and life changing concept.  Without love we have nothing.

Love is not jealous – In other translations its stated as “does not envy.”  Envy and comparison are the thief of joy!  If all we did was sit and be jealous about the gifts and abilities that others were given and not just be happy and grow in what God has given us we run the serious risk of completely losing track of what we have been given.  We weren’t designed to be jealous, we were designed to build each other up.

Love is not boastful – To be boastful is to express too much pride in ourselves or in something that we have, have done or contributed to.  During this challenge God spoke pretty clearly to me to follow through on an opportunity to bless someone.  Now, I am NOT boasting about this, I am just saying… it happened.  🙂  Following this opportunity I caught my self wanting to remind them of what I did, and it wasn’t like that’s what I was trying to do!  It was just something that so simply almost rolled off my tongue but it wasn’t necessary.  I used my brain to mouth filter… Win!

Love is not proud – I personally prefer how another translation says it as arrogant of which the definition is showing the insulting attitude of people who believe they are better, smarter or more important than others.  It’s not just the attitude of being better but the insulting attitude of being better.

Love is not rude – This idea that we have been called to be different but yet at the end of the day we are still so worried about all that we want and when we want it and we often end up leaving behind those that we have been called to love the most.  If we are really in the business of loving people then we need to be aware that there will be times that we have to set aside our desires for the time being in order to walk along side someone in life and really love them.

Those items listen above created so many opportunities for me to alter how I think and what I say.  I honestly can’t say exactly when things changed but I can tell you that there was a moment that I found myself dissecting every action and reaction before using my words.  I know this sounds cliche but words can build up and words can kill.  During the next couple days.. I challenge you to try and evaluate which you are using on a regular basis.

Admitting that we sometimes use words that kill, unknowingly, doesn’t make us horrible people!!!  It’s not like I am here to tell you about all the bad things that we are doing, remember, I am the first one to say that I needed to make a change.  I am just saying that it creates opportunities for us to work to be more like our Creator (Colossians 3:10) and isn’t that what we are designed to be?