“Though I am the least deserving of all God’s people, he graciously gave me the privilege of telling the Gentiles about the endless treasures available to them in Christ.”  Ephesians 3:8

Of so many men and women of the Bible I will admit that I love the story of Saul (who is Paul) more than some.  He was this man who spent years of his life wanting nothing more than to quiet the voice of the followers of Jesus.  He went sleepless night after sleepless night searching out, persecuting, imprisioning and killing anyone who claimed to follow Jesus.  He was a smart man.  He had studied the law, he “knew” right from wrong and he wasn’t afraid to proclaim it.

In the midst of his journey to Damascus to seek out anyone who was a follower of Jesus, Saul is approached by Jesus himself and told of a plan that He has for him.

It says in Acts 9:15 “But the Lord said (to Ananias) ‘Go, for Saul is my chosen instrument to take my message to the Gentiles and to kings, as well as to the people of Israel.'”

8 years ago, I was in the midst of such heartache.  The fear of the unknown was far to heavy to bear.  I was driving home from another brutal day at work, I remember turning the corner on a winding road, looking up to the sky I said to God “I don’t think that you even know who I am any more but if you could just get me out of this then I will do anything that you want me to.”

It was such a raw, helpless moment.  Those were the only words that I could muster in my spirit and force to come from my mouth.  In that moment there also was the smallest bit of freedom that I had felt in quite some time.  For the next several weeks there were moments of peace that I hadn’t felt in years and I knew that He was keeping up His side of the deal, and so must I.  This was just the beginning of my story.

As I was reading in Ephesians this morning and came across 3:8 I was simply overcome with gratitude to God for choosing me, in my opinion, the least deserving, to share the promises and truth of the peace that surpasses all understanding and the love that is far deeper and exponential than we could ever fathom.

“May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.  Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:19

Overcome with emotion in trying to understand those words I am still humbled  that He had chosen me.  How?  I am just me.  I am broken, beaten down, sinful and shamed.  But the very next verse says this “Now all glory to God, who is able through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20  That word infinitely more…. infinity.  There is no end to the work that he can do not only in us but through us.  It is simply our responsibility to get up and go!

I realized that though I still may stumble, I am not perfect, God can and will use me as long as I am willing to submit to him the expectations that I have on myself and walk fully and tall in His.

All glory to God!  For though I feel week, in Him I am made whole.